Tuesday, 10 November 2009
Stuck in a Visues circle
...of self harm...dont worry im not talking about the emo delight of slitting my wrists, but mentally never allowing myself to be happy for more than 5 minutes.
Allot of great things has happened these past few days, but does small sometimes meaningless events in my life constantly reminds me that i should shut up and stop laughing, stop smiling and take things seriously for once.
I would forget things like fathers day but never to call up the same man for cash, cash which i spend on shit i believe could make me feel better about myself, i kind of black out at times and do all these insane things, come together and hate myself even more.
I know my limits, i just apply as much energy as i can to extend it....
........one thing that put a smile on my face (for like a mili sec) was an anonymous comment about me talking about regretting a one night stand......I wasnt really talking about that......and I dont regret them...i prefer not letting people get to know me
Posted by Rich Hippie at Tuesday, November 10, 2009